How Many Times Do I Have to Forgive?

Someone hurt you. You forgave them. Then they did it again.

Now what?

If you've ever asked that question, you're in good company. Peter asked Jesus the exact same thing.

Peter's Generous Offer

Matthew 18:21-22 says, "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.'"

Peter thought he was being generous. The rabbis of his day said three times was plenty. Peter doubled it & added one for good measure.

Jesus didn't raise the number. He erased the scoreboard.

Seventy-seven isn't a limit you hit someday. It's Jesus saying, stop counting.

Forgiveness Isn't Pretending

Let's clear something up, because this is where people get stuck.

Forgiving someone doesn't mean what they did was okay. It wasn't. It doesn't mean you have to trust them tomorrow. Trust is rebuilt slowly. Forgiveness is given freely.

It doesn't mean you stay in danger. You can forgive someone from a safe distance.

Forgiveness means you cancel the debt. You stop demanding that they pay you back for what they took. You take your hands off their throat, even if it's only in your head.

Why Revenge Never Pays

Here's what nobody tells you about holding a grudge. It doesn't hurt them. It hurts you.

Unforgiveness is like drinking poison & waiting for the other person to get sick. They're sleeping fine. You're the one replaying the conversation at two in the morning.

Romans 12:19 says, "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord."

That's not God letting them off the hook. That's God taking the case. You can drop the gavel because a better Judge picked it up.

Forgive Like You've Been Forgiven

So where do you find the strength to forgive the same person again?

Not from deep inside yourself. You'll run dry. You find it at the cross.

Ephesians 4:32 says, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

Just as. That's the measuring stick. How many times has God forgiven you? For the same sin? This week?

When you remember how much you've been forgiven, it gets a lot harder to hold onto how much you're owed.

This Week

Here's my challenge. Write down one name. The person you just thought of when this sermon started.

Then write what they owe you. Be honest. The apology. The years. The reputation. The money.

Now draw a line through it. Tell God out loud, "They don't owe me this anymore. I'm handing the case to You."

You might have to do it again tomorrow. That's okay. Seventy-seven times starts with one.

Forgiveness doesn't change what they did. It changes who holds you.

Can I invite you to stop counting today & let the grace that set you free flow through you to someone else?